Wednesday, April 22, 2009

WyW - Bad Actors Edition

3 FAST!

3 FURIOUS!

I'M 3 FAST FOR Y'ALL!

Memorize your lines and forget your morals - it's time for another exciting edition of - Would Ya Wednesday - Bad Actors Edition!

Where the only thing stiffer than the acting is in your pants.

This week we are focusing on two celebrities who have beaten the odds; overcoming their lack of acting ability AND only moderate looks to become huge stars.

In the first corner is Vin Diesel - who proves that even muscle-heads have a brain and a heart - and that I would like to rip both of them out with my bare hands and then send them overnight to Canada.

And in the other corner, Lindsay Lohan. I think I would rather lick the floor of the guy's bathroom at my gym than touch her gens. Ok, that is a lie. I don't go to the gym.

Lindsay is skinny, redheaded and has ginormous chesticles - yet I imagine if I tried to do the intercourse Jack Bauer would bust into the room and tackle me away from her saying her gens were actually a chemical weapon. Thanks, Jack Bauer! I should really get him a card.

If you've never played Would Ya Wednesday before, you may want to get tested after you leave here. I am a chlamydia away from a VD Bingo! YAY I got a cover-all!

The rules are simple - I cast two celebrities and you tell me if you would let them play with your Oscars or not. If not - give me a reason why not, like, say, you would be safer to have sex with the pole at a Mexican strip club than with Lindsay Lohan. I don't know, up to you.

ACTION! Wait, cut - someone get that shiny object out of here, you've distracted Vin -

Vin Diesel

Lindsay Lohan

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would never let Bihan run me over with her crazy train! Are you crazy!? Vin on the other hand....:) Ahhh, those are some sweet sweet dreams!

Matt said...

Of course I would bang lohan.

I have no shame at all.

Bethie said...

Vin Diesel actually disgusts me more than your gym floor does. He's the type who forgets to close his mouth when he's not talking, I believe.

As for LiLo...I have a soft spot for this troubled young lady, but I'd still be afraid to hit it due to the biohazard concerns you raise. I keep hoping she'll prove she's not as batshit as everyone believes!

Maxie said...

Um who WOULDNT do lohan. I don't care if she's badshit crazy..she's fucking hot.

LBluca77 said...

No I would not do whorhan. She looks like oe big gigantic herpe to me.

Vin yes I would do him but he is gay. Its true.

surviving myself said...

Hell yes I'd bang Lohan. But I'd want her to be her version "Mean Girls" which is what she looked like in that picture. Plus, you know she's a freak.

Also, I totally printed that picture of her out and now I'm going to the bathroom.

Thanks bro!

Angela said...

Vin Diesel is actually gay (or maybe bi, but he's at least into men a little), but that wouldn't stop me from sleeping with him.

Forreal, in high school we had a substitute who said his brother worked on movie sets and whatnot. I guess he was working on a movie that Vin Diesel was in, and he'd always fly in his boyfriend.

Fizzgig said...

hmmmm vin...id just have to wear ear plugs. His doofes-y 'roids voice would ruin the moment for me!

sour said...

don't you dare send them to canada. we'll send them back with postage due.

stealthnerd said...

I would NEVER kick Vin out of bed. He's totally one of my embarrassing celebrity crushes. Mainly b/c I love him in The Pacifier. I shouldn't even admit that I've SEEN The Pacifier, but there it is. Now you know.

Marie said...

Neither. Actually I'd be afraid to touch Lohan with a ten foot pole. Ew.

Baking With Plath said...

Vin. I'm not ashamed! After watching that Eharmony spoof with Lindsay making fun of herself, I kind of love her, but I think I would have tit envy.

fiona said...

Too HOT for me to handle.
Kinda gay guy wtf? and mad wumman!
I'd be frightened of both/either of them.

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

i'd do lohan over vin - he repulses me.

Julie_Gong said...

both of these people have deep titillating voices which is the key to my heart.

blue-eyed brunette said...

For sure Vin if i could close my eyes the whole time and feel him - I don't want to see him or hear him, just feel him....
Lohan? Only if i want to die from like 14 STDs within 2 days.

Kellie said...

Ew. I think they are both gross. Vin is not attractive in my book plus his horrible acting makes him even worse and Lohan looks like a giant chlamydia. If that is possible.

Bon Don said...

I'm pretty ballies, but both of these one gross me out (and that's saying ALOT)... if I had to choose.... The Gay Guy Def.

insomniaclolita said...

I'll straddle VIN right now if I have to. I have no shameeeeeeee.

Stephanique1 said...

I'd def rub on Vin's baldie. No to LoHO. There's not enough Vagisil to protect you from her fire crotch.

Heff said...

Why don't we just make them both screw each other...TO THE DEATH.

raych said...

i'd definitely do lindsay. date - no. sex? yes

Ambles said...

No on Vin. Hell yes on Lindsay.

Seriously.

Just Playing Pretend said...

I had a dream about this last night. It involved Lohan, Vin, and said stripper pole.

First I...

Nevermind.

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