Monday, July 6, 2009

Earning Interest

You know in cartoons how you can always tell the bad guy because he has a curly mustache and a black hat and is trying to tie people to railroad tracks?

For women, the word "Interesting" is their railroad tracks.

Used in a sentence -

"I just think it is interesting that you had time to watch the entire game but couldn't make it to my aunt's cousin's 3rd wedding anniversary."

"I just think it is interesting that when I came back from the bathroom you were supposed to get me a drink but instead you are standing within 30 yards of another girl."

I'm not a thesaurus but I don't think "interesting" is a synonym for "infuriating". Or "not putting out".

I have to hand it to you, though, ladies - it is GENIUS! How can we argue? If we start to argue you just fall right back on, "I'm not mad...I just think it is interesting." You totally put our thing down flip it and reverse it and now WE are the ones trying to pick a fight.

Saying "interesting" is like punching a guy in the nose - he gets all disoriented and confused. To us, the only things that are interesting are explosions, sporting events in high definition and anything on the History Channel - and we're pretty sure your aunt's counsin's 3rd wedding anniversary wasn't on the History Channel. If it was, we forgot to Tivo it and we are sorry.

The amazing thing is that we can have an entire discussion where you say the opposite of being angry.

Guy - What's wrong?

Girl - Nothing.

Guy - Are you sure? You seem upset.

Girl - I'm fine.

Guy - Is it about the party?

Girl - I just think it is interesting you were too busy to even come for a little bit.

Girls have turned the entire English language into a giant game - a game that guys have no chance of winning.

It is truly interes...fascinating.

29 comments:

Allison M. said...

damn right we are interesting and can kick your ass in a dictionary fight any day.

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

i think it's interesting that you conveniently forgot to mention that guys do the exact same thing!

this so isn't a female only condition.

Matt said...

this post was interesting

Christina_the_wench said...

Oh but the blank look on you guys' face is any better? Like you just walked out of the cave or something? Pleaseeee...

Marie said...

Dammit! Matt stole what I was going to say!

Whatever, I'm still saying it, this post was interesting.

bakingwithplath said...

Interesting.

zwinggi said...

a good retaliation would be... "not as interesting as [insert her best feature here, or a cool movie that she loves, or particle physics, or anything really]". if you throw her idioms/word twists back at her in a literal way, she'll be forced to show anger and use typical anger words, which may start the fight, but then she started it, not you.

whattheham said...

i hate that word, mainly becuase no one says it in a way i can stand.

they say inneresting, or intresting, or accentuate a syllable so it sounds weird like "interESting"

i'm totally guilty of doing the whole "interesting thing".

LiLu said...

This post is interesting.

LiLu said...

Shit, I just saw what Matt wrote. And Marie. AND BWP. Great minds and all that...

Scuse me while I go drink my Creative Juice.

TheGuy said...

Eh, if you work it like this, then you don't have to hear the "interesting" crap:

Guy: What's wrong?
Girl: Nothing.
Guy: Okay.

That's my advice. But of course, consider the source.

Sarah said...

but playing that game is totally worth it, right?

lbluca77 said...

I'm with Alexa. GUYS DO IT TOO!!!!

TishTash said...

You forgot Southern accent. Bad guys in cartoons ALWAYS have Southern accents.

OhMyLaughter said...

Ehh.. I think museums are interesting. My grandfather's life story is interesting.

I try not to use the word like that. I actually have a friend who acts "chill" when she is upset at her guy... then gets mad at herself for letting him think she's chill, when she really is pissed.

WHAT??!!

I feel like in life there are two kinds of drama:
1) The type you truely should just blow off.
2) The kind to address.

Life really is too short to get mad over small things.

Angela said...

If I ever say "interesting," you'll KNOW I'm angry at you.

Lauren said...

You forgot our second favorite word "Fine."

If a girl says she's fine? SHE'S NEVER FINE.

Lily said...

I find your mom to be interesting
(in the doesn't-put-out sense. Oh wait...)

I kid. I'm sure she's a very nice woman.

But good call on that manipulative use of the word "interesting."
I'll have to try that sometime ;-)

Stephanique1 said...

I think it's interesting that "Funny" can be substituted for "interesting". Funny though, that it's not so funny when used that way.

I have no idea what I just said.

regardez moi said...

I was with someone who used the word interesting all the damn time. And you know what? It wasn't interesting. It was stupid.

Mike said...

Just ask her if she wants a 'conversation'.

Dictionary.com
American heritage section
definition number 5

moooooog35 said...

Try being married for 14 years.

I would love to get 'interesting' just once...again...

Instead, all I get is:

"You're such an asshole."

Hm.

Interesting.

Tdub said...

haha this is hilarious. I would say very interesting...but well...it's been said about 2835 times. And so funny how true it is. =)

Always a Bridesmaid said...

You know you're REALLY effed when she says "innnner-esting."

Zan said...

"...if you throw her idioms/word twists back at her in a literal way, she'll be forced to show anger and use typical anger words, which may start the fight, but then she started it, not you..."

THIS is why I cut out the middle man (middle word?) and use my anger words from the beginning. No way for anything to get lost in translation.

I never have been one to beat around the bush.

Zan said...

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" always works for me (in RE Moooog's comment)!

LOL...my verif word is "coparm"

ANG* said...

my eye roll typically trumps whatever comes out of my mouth. interesting, or not...

miss. chief said...

OMG my word verification is "culo"
anyone speak spanish out there? anyone?

p.s. i thought your post was really interesting

Organic Meatbag said...

Interesting is a good one, but also "I see"... which is her way of saying "Whatever, you lying sack of monkey puke"...