Tuesday, July 28, 2009

WyW - Bachelor Edition

It's time to pick up the remote and pull down your pants!

That's right - it's Would Ya Wednesday on Tuesday - Bachelor Edition.

Where the only thing thicker than the spray tan is the desperation.

This week's theme is The Bachelor and The Bachelorette - which is a reality show based on two people sleeping with as many contestants as possible and then ranking them on their sexual prowess by giving them roses. In the end they pretend to pick one person and be happy but then break up within the next few months and have their own spin-off reality show based on them sleeping with more people. Before you start to think this sounds morally questionable - they wear suits and are on broadcast TV - so it's fine.

My favorite thing about the Bachelor(ette) is that every single girl / guy contestant falls instantly in love with the main character. What are the odds that every contestant just HAPPENS to fall in love with the main character? The only way they can call that "Reality TV" is if I was the Bachelor - because lets face it - I'm 100% pure-American Hunk wrapped in a sweet velvety layer of emotions. With sprinkles and a cherry on top.

Anyways our first contestant is former Bachelor Jason Mesnick. He looks exactly like Taylor Made from 'I Love NY' except with a crazier look in his eye. Like you would come home and find him covered in blood and wearing one of your dresses - but he wouldn't be bleeding and suddenly your cat Mittens is missing. Hubba hubba!

Our second contestant is Bachelorette Jillian Harris. She isn't attractive. That's really all there is to say. I did an informal survey of like...six guys...and no one thinks she is attractive. And she is annoying. Two strikes, Jillian, you better make up for it - oh that's right - she is a giant whore bag. Was the Bachelorette actually a contest to see how many guys she could intercourse? I want to see her take on that Kobayashi guy in a hot dog eating contest. The entire show is based around people vying for the affection of a super-eligible bachelor/ette - and you trot her out there? When she first came out were fans like - "Why is the make-up girl on stage? Get her off and get someone with some remote physical attractiveness out here!...Oh...that's her? She better put out."

If you are new to Would Ya Wednesday here are the rules - I nominate two people and you tell me if they face elimination or if your privates are ready for a reunion special.

Jason Mesnick

Jillian Harris

19 comments:

Allison M. said...

who was the informal poll?

No to Jason because he cries a too much for me.

So, I don't think I'd sleep with you either.

moooooog35 said...

She's a giant whore bag?

Count me in.

Fizzgig said...

i think this works for women because of the competition. They tend to want what others have.

myself excluded.

Like do you watch dating in the dark? next week 3 girls fight over a guy THEYVE NEVER EVEN SEEN.

seriously.

zwinggi said...

she's a goodlight/badlight girl... actually the picture you chose is pretty cute... cuter than last week's WyW golf chick.

Mike said...

Jillian Harris? - Sure. I think I'm glad I don't watch that show. Lack of knowledge is lust.

Misty said...

Um...I dunno. Probably, he is hot. But he was kind of a dick, right? Yeah, if it's just sex, why not! :-)

lacochran said...

Management requests that you cut back on the sprinkles. Apparently they've gotten complaints. Chicks? Not so much into being sprinkled on as you might think. Go figger.

Matt said...

I wouldnt marry her- she's not even my favorite Jillian...

but I'd plow her, for sure.

Angela said...

That's a terrible picture you have of Jillian. She was actually kind of cute on the show.

And as for Jason, he's not exactly my type. But WyW isn't about DATING the person, so I think I'd give him my rose.....

Marie said...

My answer is NAY. As no way in hell.

Andhari said...

You know hes such a heartless bitch so maybe Jillian this time :P

justjp said...

No way! Okay, maybe just the tip. Her nose is totally fucked up. See I am superficial, could so be on that show!

Kellie said...

Jason is good looking but he is emotionally draining so I think he may be a sexytime cryer. So no.

Jillian is average looking to me. Nothing spectacular by all means but not ugly either. But her voice. OMG her voice is like nails down a chalkboard. So no again.

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

jason is gross.

and jillian is awesome. you obviously have crappy taste.

Always a Bridesmaid said...

They're both disgratz.

P.S. fun drinking game -- do a shot or take a sip every time the word "connection" is said on that show. You'll be hammered in 10 minutes.

bakingwithplath said...

Wow, I wouldn't fuck either of them. And I'm a whore.

Kristine said...

I'm convined Mr. Mesnik is about 4 feet tall. It's all lighting and special effects.

Word verification agrees: "unchin"

Maxie said...

I think this is my first double no.

I don't bone people who go on TV for dates.

OhMyLaughter said...

I'm going to say 'Ed.'

He should have been the guy choice, not Jason.